Was a typically nutty Monday.
I finally fell asleep just after midnight… combo of sleeping aids and mental exhaustion.
Got Ryne out the door with minimal voice raising. Proud of myself because when I am emotional, I’m snippy.
I am feeling extremely numb and helpless. The baby was just beautiful and knowing he is not going home, is so heartbreaking.
My friend and I deal with emotions very differently… I am glad I can be a calm spot in her storm.
I know there is nothing I can do or say… but I hate feeling ineffective. I am a fixer, a doer.
Of course, many of her friends are (and she has such an amazing large and diverse group of us). So I am trying hard not to be one too many chiefs.
But I can watch and listen, both things I am good at, and catch where I need to catch, hug where a hug is needed, pray and be there.
I have a fridge of uncooked meat (only chickens got done). Gotta figure out what to do with all that.
Gotta figure out what we are going to do about heat, going to be cooler this week than I was hoping. It’s just the matter of a little juggling. I’ll have a better idea of how things will shake down tomorrow.
Breathe in, breathe out. One moment at a time. One moment at a time.
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